


Gunpowder and Lace

by Toryb



Series: Lead and Love [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Accompanying piece to Smoke and Glitter, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Eventual Smut, F/F, Less a story more a series of oneshots to fill in the gasps about Cheryl and Toni's relationship, Vignette, glitter abound, strip club romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:52:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toryb/pseuds/Toryb
Summary: A bunch of oneshots/codas filling in the gaps of Cheryl and Toni's relationship set in the Smoke and Glitter Universe. Starts before the beginning of S&G and will follow along with the plot of that. You don't have to read it first/as well but if you like Bughead I would recommend it!-or-Cheryl Blossom did not let the world beat her down. She had spent a long time living under the crushing, unloving thumb of Penelope, and like a phoenix rising from the ashes with a fiery vengeance, she would not only survive, but thrive in this new life. Unfortunately, desperate times called for desperate, and somewhat tragic, measures.





	1. Cherry Cha Cha Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello my darlings. So here it is, my promise of the Cheroni side of smoke and glitter. As said in the summary, there isn't really a concrete PLOT of this fic as it will mostly be oneshots filling in Cheryl and Toni's relationship. The first few chapters will take place BEFORE Smoke and Glitter's start, but most will take place during it. This chapter is set 3 years prior to Smoke and Glitter.
> 
> No you don't have to read that first, but if you want to here's it is: [Smoke and Glitter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629469/chapters/28776624)

Cheryl Blossom needed a job. That was something that in all her eighteen years of life she would never had imagined saying. A millionaire, an heiress, the twin sister of the future Blossom Industries CEO: that’s what the magic crystal ball her Nana Rose had always said about what was to come. But now, sitting in the cramped apartment she shared with Betty Cooper, a girl she had despised only a few months ago, waiting patiently for Betty’s stomach to pop and the baby to come, Cheryl finally accepted that a lot was changing.

Jobs in the tired small town of Riverdale were few and far between, especially for outsiders who liked to keep their ties to the wealthiest family in New York a secret. Everyone knew each other here. Valuable connections formed in childhood were not a luxury they had. There were very few, if any, these days anyway.

After an emergency medical bill last week, the small reserve of cash they had was almost depleted. She had already pawned her iconic spider broach, and both the Coopers and Blossoms had made quick work of disowning their rebellious daughters, choosing to focus on Polly and Jason: the now golden children. But Cheryl Blossom did not let the world beat her down. She had spent a long time living under the crushing, unloving thumb of Penelope, and like a phoenix rising from the ashes with a fiery vengeance, she would not only survive, but thrive in this new life. Unfortunately, desperate times called for desperate, and somewhat tragic, measures.

The Whyte Wyrm was the type of establishment that three months ago, Cheryl would have turned her nose up at and avoided all together. Now it was a God send, basked in a heavenly glow, sitting amongst a rough and tumble assortment bikes, trucks, and the occasional SUV of a father sneaking away from his husbandly duties. She locked her cherry red convertible one last time for good measure.

The strip club smelt like burning cigarettes and cheap beer, but so did most of Riverdale. When your population barely surpassed one hundred, there wasn’t much to do other than burn away your liver and lungs while watching mostly naked women dance on a poorly lit stage to various pop music played by a tired looking red headed DJ.

Cheryl didn’t like men. Not after Nick and Chuck and now…now Jason. Her soulmate turned rival. Jay-Jay was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and the wounds were still etched deep in her heart.

Her own flesh and blood sat baking in her roommate’s belly. Growing up, being an Auntie was right next to being Princess Maple Tree in beauty pageants on her “Important List of Life Goals”. Now the thought just made her sick. They both sat in silent fear of the impending baby. Boy or girl, devil or angel, like mother or like father: those were the unspoken questions. Before she’d known what Jason had done, Cheryl wanted to set Betty and the little monster within her on fire. Now she vowed that with every fiber of her being that she would keep the baby safe from all the political drama of the Blossom-Cooper clan.

With a purpose in her heart and a fire in her eyes, Cheryl walked into the club, ready to fight, like she’d always done, for her place in the light. The owner of the club, Jughead Jones, was eccentric and hard to read. If one of the dancers, Sabrina Spellman (if that was even her real name), hadn’t made it very obvious with her tongue that they were a couple, Cheryl would have marked him down as a potential rebound candidate for her cousin. Betty needed a good man in her life, even if he did have a certain degree of “hobo chic” aesthetic going for him.

After a quick review of wages, rules, and regulations, she was offered a job. When the paperwork was signed, she was brought to the back and introduced to the charming cast of characters that were now her coworkers. They were all predictable: easily read.

Veronica Lodge aka Crystal Vicious: Clever, hidden wealth, and disappointingly hetero.

Josephine McCoy aka Kitty Baker: talented, calculated, and a stone-cold savage.

Midge Klump aka Holly Jangle: lost, easily manipulated, and holder of an unfortunate last name.

What she didn’t except to walk through the doors was sex on wheels. Pink hair, a look that could kill, and enough sex appeal that Cheryl’s mind spun and her eyes wandered. Every curve and valley of her body was something to be admired.

“Well I’m glad someone here knows how to make an entrance,” Cheryl smiled, tapping her talons against the wooden vanity she sat on.

“The names Toni. And you, are in my seat.”

Something electric was in the air. It was a challenge. Back in New York, no one dared to challenge Cheryl Blossom. Then again, everyone back in New York knew she could claw out someone’s eyes and boil them in a traditional family soup. This little girl didn’t know a single thing about her. Maybe that’s what made her all the more enticing.

“Oh, am I? Terribly sorry about that,” she removed herself slowly, deliberate in every swing of her hips and movement of her lips.

Veronica gave a low whistle, grabbing Jughead by the elbow. “I’m really thirsty all of a sudden. Why don’t we leave,” a nod towards the door, “Right now? Immediately.”

Apparently social cues were not something her new boss was aware off. It took a moment before realization at last dawned on his haggard hipster lumberjack features. “Be good and don’t eat the new girl, T.”

Toni smiled gently, setting down her black leather bag on the vanity seat. She turned her gaze back to the boss and winked, “Oh, trust me, I won’t eat her without taking her to dinner first. You seem the wine and dine type, Cheri.”

Josie stood, “And I’m gone too. I have to go practice for my dance tonight.”

Left alone, Cheryl felt relaxed. Ever since moving to three stop lights and only one gas station nowhere, she hadn’t come across a single person who shared her particular interests. Maybe it was looking on the wrong side of the tracks. Toni was a beautiful girl, with beautiful lips, and hair that looked far too beautiful not to be pulled one night.

“So, what’s your name, new girl?” Toni asked as she began her makeup application. Her hands were practiced and Cheryl became entranced once again. The flick of her wrist as she produced a flawless wing left her panties about ready to drop.

“Cherry Bombshell. But you’re cute so I’ll let you call me Cheryl.”

She smiled, eyes drifting over to where the redhead stood. “They call me Candy Crimson here. Because I love to bite.”

“Funny: I really like being bitten.”

Her phone buzzed, a text from Betty asking if she would be home soon. There was a doctor’s appointment scheduled for the fetus in the next hour, and they couldn’t afford to be late again and pay the grumpy doctor’s fees. Quickly, Cheryl procured her signature maple red lipstick from her purse. She bent over Toni’s station, writing her number on the mirror.

_Call Me_

_XO Cherry_

“Or don’t,” she whispered as she pulled away, “but that would be your loss. I’m picky, but I like girls with a bit of venom. I think you do too.”

When Cheryl’s phone rang that night, she knew exactly who it was. Betty sat on her bed, rubbing her large stomach as her cousin asked approval for the fourth outfit she had changed into that night. She’d been invited to a double feature at the old drive in. It was historic, and Toni claimed that living in Riverdale for even a few months without stepping foot in there was a crime.

“You always look great Cher. And I’m really excited you have a date tonight. From what you told me she seems like your type.”

“Of course, she is! Otherwise I wouldn’t be so nervous. Riverdale isn’t exactly the thriving gay metropolis that New York was. It’s hard to even catch a six, let alone a nine like her.”

She laughed, “She’s not a ten?”

“Please Betty, no one is a ten but me.”

The familiar chime on her phone let Cheryl know her date had arrived. With a kiss to her cousin’s cheek and a promise she would call later if she wouldn’t be coming home, she exited the shitty apartment complex and entered the rusty crimson red four-door. The interior seats were leather, warn away from being well loved.

“My signature color,” Cheryl remarked, “my cars got the same paint job.” She pointed in the direction of her baby, currently parked under a canopy to protect it from New York weather. It was one of the few things she had taken when she’d run from Thornhill Manor in the dead of night, the last thing that tied her to the life from before.

“You’ve got a flare for the dramatic. I like it,” Toni smiled, “I’ve had Cha Cha here since high school. Jug helped me fix her up once, or I guess he tried. Never realized that guy was a completely useless mechanic unless it was a motorcycle.”

“You two seem close,” she wasn’t jealous. There was nothing to let a little green monster fester about. A man like Jughead Jones had nothing on a goddess like herself.

Toni nodded, “We are. We grew up together. Like hung out in the bath as kids grew up together. Whenever my uncle kicked me out, the Jones’ would let me crash at their place. Either on the couch or in the guest room, wherever I fell asleep first. He’s like my brother. My weird, melodramatic, beanie wearing brother. Do you have any siblings?”

Brother talk made Cheryl’s heart burn. Her gaze hardened and she turned her head out the window, watching as the maple trees passed by in a steady blur. Her voice was as deadly as poison, “No. I don’t.”

The drive in was crowded. Teenage lovers, families with screaming children, gang members: every walk of life huddled around the big screen, eager to have a night of easy enjoyment. Cheryl liked the calmness of the night. Halfway into a John Hughes love classic, she feels Toni’s hand slipped into hers. Normally she’d roll her eyes, make a snarky comment about them not being children, but to have something innocent in times this grey was comforting.

Not much later into the film they were far more occupied with hands and lips. Toni tasted like the cherry coke they’d been splitting, the pink stripped straw now coated with red lipstick stains. It wasn’t the only thing peppered in love though. All along Toni’s neck and collarbone was evidence of the tangled tango they’re dancing.

They had to recline the seats, and the leather sticking to her thighs as sweat and desire pool between them. For kisses as hot as these though, Cheryl would endure a million cheap seats and frustrated moms who made sure to turn their children’s lurking gazes away from the girls groping each other in the beat-up sedan.

When they finally pulled back, heat lingered and their breath mingled. Toni smiled, running a hand through her partner’s now tangled red locks. “Oh Cheri, you’ve got a dirty mouth.”

“Trust me Topaz, that’s not the only thing dirty about me.”

The night didn’t end until after a few more cherry kisses and a promise of many, _many_ more nights like this. Betty was asleep on the couch, curled up around one of her old Nancy Drew books. Cheryl threw the knit blanket over her lap and left a kiss to her forehead. All the lipstick was gone so no stain was present to reveal her occasional kindness.

Before she called it a night, she checked her phone one last time. There was a single red heart on her screen, and a message the engraved itself on her heart

_Goodnight Cheri._


	2. Goodbye Cherry Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing smut is never easy for me so be kind my dears <3 it's a small portion of this though. This chapter mainly focuses on Cheryl's insecurities and her intense need to be loved. Toni is all too happy to oblige.
> 
> Reminder: This is a sister piece to [Smoke and Glitter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629469/chapters/28776624) which you do not have to read to fully understand this, but they are in the same universe. This is just more focusing on the missing pieces I don't get to show of Cheroni's relationship when I'm writing from Betty's POV. This fic is mostly oneshots, filling in gaps, while that one follow an intense plot line.

_6 months later_

Having to share a small two-bedroom apartment with a four-month-old baby was bad, especially when Cheryl worked nights and the kid was up as early as five in the morning. What was worse was just how expensive little Rose was turning out to be. She’d been born with jaundice, meaning the hospital stay for both mother and baby had been prolonged. Bills were finally starting to make their way in and, being without health insurance, Betty was spiraling. Some nights Cheryl would find her curled up in the tub while Rose slept in the cheap crib and sobbing so hard her body shook and her lungs gasped for oxygen.

Betty would hold her cousin tightly, like a buoy keeping her afloat in turbulent waters. They were barely staying that way. Late payments, angry credit card companies, things a Blossom had never had to deal with before. Some nights, when the feelings of despair hit them both hard, they would contemplate calling their parents. Surely not even Penelope and Alice could be so heartless as to let their daughters and grandchild starve to death in the middle of nowhere.

It only took a few moments before they remembered that yes, that was something the women were capable of.

Money had never been a concern before, but the world had spent a very long time trying to tell Cheryl she was worthless. Everything had always been about her twin brother, even in her own eyes. The company, the grooming, family dinners, business vacations: they had all revolved around the knowledge that one day Jason would run the world and she would sit behind the scenes with a pretty smile on her painted cherry red lips. If she turned tail and ran now, it would only prove all the naysayers right.

It was time to grab the bull by the horns and carve her way out of this hell with brimstone, fire, and something she had never used before: sacrifice. Even six months ago, had someone told her just what she now was willing to do for Betty Cooper and her spawn, she would have likely spat on their shoes. But one look at that little red headed bundle of joy and Cheryl was proud to be the best aunt in the world.

“Do you know a good place to sell a car around here?” she asked Toni, curled up in the curve of her waist during their weekly Wednesday movie.

“Why?” her question wasn’t accusatory, just curious. “Cher-bear you would rather saw your own arm off than sell your baby, we both know that.”

Cheryl sighed and moved her eyes to avoid contact with her…well she wasn’t sure what they were, but that was a discussion for a time where stress had not already put her at an emotional tipping point. “Desperate times. Tragic measures. I need money.”

She never spoke about Rose to people outside her home. Betty lived in constant fear that, like some wicked witch or evil step mother in a fairytale, Jason would come and steal Rose away in the dead of night. Her cousin had begged and begged to keep the little girl a secret and at last Cheryl had relented. Secrets didn’t make friends, but friends were not something she needed or often wanted.

“Listen, if you need cash I don’t mind helping out. I don’t want you starving on the Southside street. I’ve been there and it’s not a nice place to spend your nights.”

“I’m not some charity case. I want you to tell me where I can sell my car so I can figure things out on my own. That’s what I’m asking for. Not handouts like a cripple during Christmas time ringing bells outside of discount shopping centers.”

Toni lifted her hands up defensively, “I’m not going to give you money you don’t want. And I’m certainly not going to provoke you enough to rip my eyes out. I’m not stupid and, look, I get it. Self-sufficiency is nice and everything, but you told me you and your cousin were running away from some wicked stuff. If you need help you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for it. I used to spend most of my life crashing on Jug’s couch. Even when the Jones’ didn’t have a lot to give they were willing to throw a bone my way. Me and the other girls at the club care about you, and by extension, your cousin. I’m sure if you needed a loan Jug would even give it to you.”

“I said I’m fine! I’ll figure it out on my own. Blossom’s don’t need bones thrown their way.” She stood, furious as she stopped from the small apartment’s living room.

No one seemed to understand the pride that kept her tight lipped, not even Cheryl Blossom herself. Distrust had been so hard wired, so ingrained in her very being, that it made it impossible to open her heart out and trust. Sure, she’d made friends at the club. Josie was amazing: they went out to lunch and Cheryl was always willing to lend an ear when The Pussycats needed someone to bounce song lyrics off of who wasn’t Archie “I have all the depth in my music of a stump” Andrews.

Jughead was nice, though likely terrified of her if their brief, awkward interactions were any indication. Veronica sometimes felt like she was trying too hard to make friends, specifically with down on her luck Cheryl. Sometimes, she felt like a charity case. The only person who ever made her feel good these days was Toni Topaz. Toni who didn’t seem the least bit curious as to how someone like her had fallen from social grace. Toni who kissed her so hard the world went quiet and her mind went blank. Toni who gave her sparks of pleasure so pure they left her breathless. Now, even she was looking down on Cheryl, like a lost kitten desperate for warmth.

“You’re being stupid,” the pink haired girl stood with a frustrated noise, following Cheryl to the bedroom where she was trying to hurriedly throw the things she’d brought for a late-night sleepover into her bag. “I just don’t want you getting hurt because of your pride! So, what, your family’s name is branded onto every maple syrup bottle on this coast? You aren’t part of that elitist shit show anymore. Down here on the bottom, we help each other out because it’s all we can do.”

“If you’re so determined to help me, find a place that’ll buy my baby for a pretty penny!” Cheryl was not afraid to cry. At home, it would be the only way she could get noticed. The punishment for such displays of emotion was rough, but at least she knew eyes would be on her instead of Jason for even the briefest of moments. “That’s all I want. I don’t want money or loans or whatever. I want you to help me claw my way out of this.”

Toni’s expression softened and she reached out to take Cheryl’s hands. “Okay.” There was no use fighting over something like this. Not when she knew it was a losing battle that would drive a wedge in their relationship. “I think I know a guy. Malachi. He’s a big degree creep, but he likes cars and he’ll know yours is worth a big price. We won’t look desperate, just interested and he’ll give us a fair price.”

_Me, not us_ , Cheryl wanted to correct her, but years of loneliness disguised with vapid popularity made her bite her tongue. It wouldn’t be so bad to be an us, even for a brief moment in time.

“Thank you,” she finally relented and sat down on the bed.

“Alright babe, but now you need to relax,” Toni smiled, dropping to her knees as her hands traced slowly up Cheryl’s porcelain thighs, “And I know just the way to get you to loosen up. What do you say?”

She couldn’t help but smile, watching her love place kisses along her leg, moving up inch by inch, torturously slow. A hum escaped her lips, making Toni smirk. “Fine. I’ll allow it.”

“Oh well thank you, Princess. I’m absolutely honored.”

The humoring was done and the business of pleasure began. The things Toni could do with her mouth left Cheryl hazy. Her tongue traced along the ginger’s folds, slipping inside of her briefly to tease the tangy honey nectar.

Cheryl Blossom was a demanding lover, bucking her hips up as she commanded, “More. I don’t like being teased.”

“Your wish blah, blah, blah.”

Soon it wasn’t just her tongue, but her fingers, exploring Cheryl’s core with an eagerness to please. After six months of work, Toni knew what buttons to press and when, letting her tongue continue in between her folds as her thumb brushed against the clit. The movements brought a shiver along Cheryl’s body, and ripped a moan from the bottom of her lungs.

Her stomach was on fire, core aching with the need for release. The pressure continued to build, her mind getting lost in the movements, body rocking to meet the desperate thrusts of the pink haired devil between her thighs. Cheryl wished the moment would never cease. But soon the end found her, a shrill cry filling the air followed by an open-hearted whisper. “Toni….”

“God, I am good,” she chuckled against the alabaster skin, peppering kisses along her vein, “Feeling better?”

“Immensely, now I think it’s your turn.”

There was a mischievous glint in her eyes, igniting both desire and fear in the pits of Toni’s gut. “Be nice with your fingers. Your nails are deadly, Cheri.”

“When are you going to learn honey? I’m never nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @tory-b (I bite less than Cheryl but probably more than Toni)


	3. Miscommunications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad to get such sweet response from people about how well I write Toni and Cheryl. They're a lot trickier for me to grasp so this chapter had a few rewrites but I hope you all like it regardless <3 It's a bit angstier, for which I am sorry, but if you read Smoke and Glitter, you know the next chapter is going to make up for it in heaps of fluff.

_Set Between Chapter 4 and 5 of S &G_

_~3 Years Later_

To say that Cheryl was furious would have been an understatement. Furious would mean the only thing she felt was an uncontrollable rage and soon her girlfriend’s-no they weren’t that, Toni had made that clear-beloved ‘Cha-Cha’ would be on engulfed in flames. Furious meant her heart was not breaking into a million and one tiny pieces like shattered porcelain. Furious meant she wouldn’t have been curled up in bed, crying as her cousin attempted to coax out what had happened while Rose ran a hand through her hair and promised she was the prettiest Auntie in the world.

“Do you want ice cream?” Rosie asked and placed another wet kiss on Cheryl’s head, “Ice cream will help I promise.”

“I could pour a little adult grape juice in a glass and a bowl of ice cream if you think it’ll help, Cher?” Betty offered.

It took a few seconds of thought, but finally the red head nodded, “Wine, even from a box, sounds perfect. Once the demon’s in bed we can talk about it.”

Rose giggled, “Auntie I’m not a demon!”

Despite what she might have said, her niece’s company was worth a lot to Cheryl. The warmth of the wine tingling from the bottom of her toes and a three-year-old cuddled close in her arms helped numb the ache of her fractured heart. She worked so hard to keep the fragile organ locked away in a box. No one but the closest family had gotten half as near to it as Toni had. Toni Topaz: who Cheryl loved so much it hurt, especially right now.

Rose fell asleep in her arms around the third glass of wine. Betty offered to take her to bed, but her cousin simply shook her head, holding tighter. Toni had been hurt upon the discovery of the little girl.

_“We’ve been together for three fucking years Cherry! And you didn’t tell me you had a niece? You know everything about me and I feel like I’m still trying to uncover the smallest details about your life!” Her dark eyes shone brightly in the flickering glow of the television. “What else aren’t you telling me?”_

_Cheryl, for her part, had tried to be offended by the insinuation. “Excuse me? I told you my cousin and I ran away together for a reason and you said it was fine I didn’t tell you, that I took my time until I was ready! Well it wasn’t about me being ready it was about her. I didn’t think it was my job to wave around my cousin’s daughter?”_

_"That’s not the fucking point and you know it! It’s how you’re always locking me out. Why did you sell your care Cher? Why?” When the answer didn’t come, Toni couldn’t help but laugh bitterly, “Yeah I thought so. You’re scared. You’re scared of talking.”_

Maybe she had been right. Emotions, feelings, everything like that was not easy for the Blossom girl to work through. Her formative years had been spent with her mother breathing down her neck, scolding her for any over dramatic actions. Tears were all but forbidden, excuses were punished. But she wasn’t the only one floundering in their commitment.

_“Coming from you Miss Commitment Challenged?” Cheryl threw a pillow from the couch in her direction as the tears threatened to spill from her big brown eyes. “What are we Toni? Am I your girlfriend? Because whenever people ask, you never to give them a straight answer. Whenever I ask, I don’t get a straight answer? Does Jughead know that we’re doing anything more than just fucking around at your house?”_

_“You know that’s not all this is to me!”_

_“No, I don’t anymore. What am I to you? Because you said yourself it’s been three years and we haven’t gotten anywhere on the label front? I’m not asking for a lot here! I just want to know that I’m your girlfriend! That you aren’t fucking around behind my back with a million other people!”_

_Toni pulled back, offended. “Excuse me? You actually think I would do that? I don’t need a fucking title to know that I love you. If you’re screaming commitment phobia from the top of the Wyrm why don’t you do it to a mirror too? How many times have I told you that I loved you and gotten nothing back? You want to be my girlfriend? Look in my eyes and tell me you love me.”_

Instead, Cheryl had run. It didn’t matter that Toni hollered for her to stop, to at least let her drive her home. She didn’t want that kind of pity or sympathy right now. What she wanted was to rip her own heart out and stomp on it until the pain went away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Betty asked, removing the empty plastic wine glass from her cousin’s hand and setting it on the bedside table. Her eyes were soft and pitying. Cheryl hated pity, but she felt too numb to find it in her heart to even pretend to be offended.

“I’m not sure…about anything,” she finally admitted. “About running away, about Toni and me, about the road my life is on. This is nothing like I imagined it would be as a little girl. Mother always presented me with this cookie cutter path as a Blossom woman. It’s scarier than I imagined getting out of it.”

Betty nodded in understanding her feelings all too well. “I get that Cheryl, trust me. You met my mom a few times and it was the same thing with me. Go to college, become a journalist, move to an apartment with a nice middle-class boy I met in my programs and come work for her at the family business. There certainly wasn’t ever talk of a baby at 18, living in a town called Riverdale, and stripping on stage with my best friend Cheryl Blossom. But the only way we can find happiness in how things are, is to accept them, and accept what they come with,” her gaze turned pointedly towards her cousin, “Including the people we meet along the way.”

“This wasn’t my fault!” Cheryl defended herself, “It’s hers. She’s the one who refuses to call me her girlfriend. How could she not know how heart breaking that is when I’ve dedicated three years of my life to whatever it is we have. Three, almost four, years of serious commitment from me? How could she not know that I love her even when I can’t say it?”

“Because not everyone knows how hard it is for a Blossom to love. They don’t know our names here, which is nice, but it also comes with its fault. Back home everyone knew the stigmas and faults associated with our families, so it was easy to explain them away,” Betty unfolds her palms, exposing the old scars on her hands. “But we left that life for a reason, and it was to get away from those problems. I know you’re scared, Cher. I am too. But aren’t you tired of being afraid?”

There was a heavy silence in the air as Cheryl contemplated her blonde’s words. Perhaps there was a little more life knowledge in that innocent head of hers after all. But the wounds were too raw to poke at any further tonight. She wanted to be mad at Toni, even for just a little bit longer.

“Alright Miss Crocker, want to write a self-help book and get us out of this dumpy apartment?”

However, Betty seemed unwilling to simply let the conversation slide. She shook her head. “Just think about what I said. Imagine how hard it is for Toni to not hear ‘I love you too’. Probably just as for you to not get called ‘girlfriend’ during introductions. You two need to sit down and talk things out sometime soon. I don’t want your relationship falling apart because of insecurities or…because of me.”

Before Cheryl could correct her, more words came tumbling forward, this time hurried and apologetic. “I shouldn’t have made you promise not to tell anyone. I shouldn’t have told you specifically not to tell Toni. It was awful and I only hope one day you can bring yourself to forgive me. I was just so terrified someone…someone would tell Jason where we were and he would show up and try and sweep Rose away from me. You and her are the only family I have left but I should have been willing to open up that fear and let Toni inside of it. She’s always been good to you and she makes you smile. The only times I ever saw you smile in High School was when the River Vixens won tournaments or you saw Dilton Doiley fall down the stairs when he was still holding his tuba and it made that horrible noise as he slid down the steps.”

The memory brought a little more light to Cheryl’s eyes and she couldn’t fight back the laugh that slipped out. “Don’t blame yourself for this shit show. Rose or not I’d been faced with my stunted relationship capabilities. The only thing I was ever taught about romance was that if Daddy slaps Mommy he can get away with it if there’s flowers on the table the next morning. I’ll think about what you said but I don’t make any promises. Toni pissed me off and I’m not great at forgiving anyone.”

_Even myself_ was left unsaid.

“That’s all I’m asking for,” Betty gave her a quick hug before finally shimmying Rose from her aunt’s grasp. They were all plenty exhausted and needed a day to rest.

“As long as you start to take your own advice,” Cheryl added, a smile on her lips. “I see the way Mr. Tall Dark and Hobo looks at you. It’s sickeningly obvious something happened on your Pop’s date. Something I expect to be privy to very soon!”

Flushed and stuttering a haphazard response, the signature blonde ponytail disappeared from her room. Cheryl tried her best to find sleep, but it was fitful. Without the familiar text “Love you Cherry” or Toni’s arms around her, nothing felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @tory-b (i'm on a semi-hiatus but I chit chatting)


	4. How to Say I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read smoke and glitter you know what happens during this little chapter <3 However, I hope you like it.
> 
> Also, can we please have a small celebration for Toni and Cheryl officially going to the same school starting next episode. I cannot wait for them to be official girlfriends and prom Queens together like wow. Cheryl walking into school wearing Toni's Serpents jacket? Can we imagine Penelope's face. It's all too beautiful.
> 
> DON'T BE A COWARD RAS GIVE US THE GAYS

_Set during Chapter 5 of Smoke and Glitter_

They’d been avoiding each other all week at work. It was childish and silly, but Cheryl Blossom never claimed to be much of an adult when it came to matters of the heart. Even today, during Josie’s big performance they couldn’t get it together long enough to be in the same room with one another. Toni had run off with Midge to hand out flyers and Cheryl stayed behind, fuming as she dealt with her friend’s diva temper tantrum.

When Toni re-entered the club at last, the redhead didn’t even want to see her, let alone speak with her. She made some witty quip to Jughead and it was enough to send Cheryl reeling. They were fighting sure, but not even a hello? The excuse the red head used to escape was absolutely paper thin; Cheryl never went anywhere without her lipstick, but it was enough to allow her some time alone in the dressing room before she began having serious thoughts about torching the nice establishment to the ground.

A few minutes later, when her heart had finally slowed down to a normal pace, she heard the door open. The familiar sound of leather boots on shitty tile floors followed. “Can we just talk Cherry?” Toni asked, making sure to keep her distance.

“Fine,” Cheryl spun around, her brown eyes harsh, “Talk to me. Maybe I’ll listen or maybe I won’t. You better make sure it’s not boring.”

Toni was at first a bit taken aback by her tone, that was evident from the shocked pullback. After a moment, she pulled herself together and spoke, “I take full responsibility for never saying you were my girlfriend. It wasn’t fair of me to keep this relationship going for years without labels. But when you never said I love you back, Cher that shit terrified me. I was worried you’d hop off at the next pit stop and leave me high and dry. It was shitty, but that’s what it was. And then when I found out about Rose I couldn’t help but wonder what other secrets you were keeping. I get it. Sometimes you need secrets to keep the world spinning, but I’ve opened up a lot of dirty parts of myself to you and I need some of that in return. Anything you’re willing to give to make it feel a little more even.”

Cheryl heard her: loud and clear. It was a theme in her life, too scared to say anything that might send someone running to the hills. Jason was her everything, and she lost him so quickly because, despite everything she had ever told herself, she knew nothing about him. What was the point in getting to know someone when you blinked and it all turned out to be a lie?

It was the moment of truth. Open, even just a fraction of an inch, or stay forever shut, like an old wooden door that had lost its key. She knew what her brain was telling her: follow in her family’s footsteps of dedicated loneliness. But for the first time, her heart was screaming something different and much louder.

“I should be in therapy,” Cheryl whispered softly, “Something isn’t right. From being raised a Blossom or maybe more. I don’t know. I get a lot of dark thoughts and sometimes they scare me so much I lash out. Mother always told me to ignore them and move on but it gets harder every day.”

“Cherry I-” Toni took a step forward.

The red head pulled back, taking a deep breath in. “Don’t. I’m not finished yet. I didn’t just leave New York for Betty or because my twin brother is a misogynistic asshole. I left because I got attached to someone and I did something terrible. There was a girl I liked and I sort of…chased off everyone so I could have her. I know it was wrong but I was terrified she was going to leave me. She ended up transferring and I felt guilty. I’ve been a bad person, Toni. So maybe I pushed you away by not saying I loved you, because I was always raised not to say it and because the only other time I’ve felt it I did something I regret.”

The silence now consuming them was eerie and tears threatened to prickle up in Cheryl’s eyes. _You are a Blossom, you do not cry_ , she reminded herself, but her efforts were futile. This was when Toni would finally leave, pushed so far away there was nothing left to do but run.

“I love you,” Three words that broke through the air. And the only three words that mattered.

Silence. Baited breath. An unsteady heartbeat.

“But I don’t want you to be my girlfriend.”

Just as quickly as hope had come, it was gone once more. There were not happy endings for people like Cheryl Blossom. There were no beautiful pink haired girls in old beat up cars that kissed her senseless and made her feel like a queen. No white knights to save her from all the dark thoughts that kept her up late into the night.

And then Toni dropped to her knee. From her pocket, she retrieved a small blue box. Inside was a diamond ring. “I want you to be my wife.”

She wanted to scream. Or cry. Or maybe do both, but instead all she did was place her hand in Toni’s and mutter, “What?”

“You don’t have to say yes now,” Toni said softly, “Or no. But just...promise me you’ll think about it. I’m not someone who does stuff like this every day. I have a reputation as a tough as nails biker chick to uphold.”

“I need time,” Cheryl confirmed. Lots of time. Time to process what was happening. Time to figure out what all of this meant. Time to wonder if at 21 years old she was ready to settle down for the rest of her life. A young marriage was terrifying: a trap like the ones her parents had been placed in. But with a girl like this…maybe it seemed a bit less scary.

The kiss they shared was softer than all the ones that came before it, but wrapped inside was just as much passion. Toni Topaz loved Cheryl Blossom, enough to ask for her hand in marriage.

“I don’t want to tell anyone.” It was an unusual request from someone like her, who revealed in the simplest forms of attention. “Until I figure out what I’m going to say. I would hate to have to embarrass you with a public denial.”

Toni rolled her eyes, placing another sound kiss on her girl’s lips. “Mhm. Yeah that’s definitely the reason. Whatever helps you sleep at night baby.”

“Don’t give me that look. Smugness is unattractive in a spouse.”

Now that the screaming had died down, no doubt their friends would be coming to check up on them. There was a soft knock at the door followed by Betty’s familiar sweet voice, asking if they were doing okay in there.

“We have to go play nice, nice with the diva Pussycats now,” Cheryl gave a final overdramatic sigh, “But for the record, Toni, I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @tory-b


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